Bunny Ears TV

America’s Got Talent blows into the Windy City of Chicago, hoping to breathe some life back into the show. And Chicago surprises us by showcasing some decently talanted people. Worry not though: there were still plenty of horrible contestants.

The show open with the young shirtless quartet of martial artists in the group “Sideswipe.” You may remember them from last year. One member broke his ankle last year and the group could not go on. Unfortunately it healed and Sideswipe is back and ready to take your daughter’s virginity! The girls in the audience certainly seemed to be smitten with the group, and even Hasselhoff was staring with wonder. Obviously they moved on to Las Vegas.

Following that group was a ventriliquist act. While he did a fine job of singing as the puppet, I just have to request that we put a moritorium on ventriliquists. And while we are at it, let’s add child singers to that list. They were not in short supply and thankfully the judges rejected every one of them. Piers was decidedly restrained, maybe hoping to avoid another judge walk off. But it wasn’t Sharon who walked off this time; It was Hasselhoff.

Hasselhoff, like myself, was disgusted by Sharon’s and Piers’ choice to send Boy Shakira on to Las Vegas. First of he looks nothing like Shakira. Second he wasn’t even dancing to her music. And third there was a talented male belly dancer on episode two that was not allowed through. I’m sorry but allowing Boy Shakira to go on made the show even more of a mockery.

Thankfully the show ended on a good–and talented–note. The stilted 2nd Story Guys can be forgiven for their horrible customing due to the fact that they did things I didn’t even know were possible on stilts. The acrobatic Clypso Boys looked like a Jamaican Cirque and performed just as well. And Kevin James the magician made the ultimate use of misdirection when he performed an incredible illusion.

Let’s just hope AGT can keep up the momentum when they roll in to New York for the final auditions.

Didn’t get enough of The Bachelor this spring? Well, Age of Love is here to fill the void! Mark Philippoussis, an Aussie tennis star has to choose from a group of 20 year-olds and 40 year-olds. Hmm, what would a 30 year-old bachelor choose?

First we get to meet all the women. All the 40 year-old women, I should say. Except wait, one is only 39! The oldest by far is 48 and even boasts about her 25 year-old son. Maybe Mark can be his big brother AND his dad! The women are shown a teaser video and maybe it’s the hot flashes, but they all get turned on and jokingly tease one another about it. Their biological clocks were audibly ticking. One thing I must admit is that these 40+ year-olds are the best looking women I’ve seen.

But poor Mark isn’t aware that he is meeting these women. When asked a leading question by the producers, he states he expects to meet women in their 20s. In case you missed it, NBC replayed it three times, just for dramatic effect.

Probably the most exploitive moments come when Mark is first introduced to these MILFs.  The women of course had to reveal their ages to Mark so we could watch his jaw drop and see him become more and more uncomfortable. During the social hour, Mark assessed the level of baggage each woman brought to the show, questioning their previous marital status and number of children that had spawned.

The following day Mark took Maria, Lynn and Jayanna for a great get-to-know-you date: rappelling down a building. I say that with sarcasm because honestly how long does it take to rappel down a building? Really what he was testing was the women’s openness to going outside their comfort zone. All the women get into it and are returned to their hotel suite in one piece.

All too soon it’s time for elimination. (I miss the 90 minutes of ABC’s The Bachelor!) In an “interesting” twist, only four of the seven women are called to the elimination: Maria, Lynn, Jayanna and Jodie. There are no roses to give out (what about tennis balls?), but Mark retains Maria, Lynn and Jayanna and says goodbye to Jodie. After that emotionally trying time, ever-present (and ever-short) host Mark Consuelos reveals the latest twist to Mark P.: the 20 year-olds, the forbidden fruit one might say.

Will Mark choose coquettes or the cougars?  We’ll find out this season on Age of Love!

Each week Michael and J-Diggy provide commentary and clips on the week’s broadcast television and wrap it up in a nice mp3 just for you! Subscribe to the Podcast at iTunes. Just search for Bunny Ears.

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And remember you don’t need an iPod to listen to our show. Any mp3 player will work. Or burn it to a CD. Or just listen to it right from your computer!

“Say goodbye to another two hours of your life, because America’s Got Talent is all new and all terrible!” I seriously believe that is how the promos for this show should go. At least then NBC could say they were being honest about the show’s content.

AGT continued it’s trend of showcasing bad talent–and then sending them on to the next round so we’ll have to suffer again. I’m speaking of course about acts like Johnny Lonestar, the lassoing cowboy. Maybe there is a reason no one lassos anymore sir. And the plate spinner? What is this vaudeville? Let’s not forget Lil C, the wannabe (and now gonnabe) rapper/dancer. I think Piers was still feeling guilty from his outburst at the children who tried out last week and that’s why he sent Lil C through. And finally there was Pearl, a cranky grandmother type played by a young man in drag. The comedy act s/he performed was mildly amusing but rather reductive.

Speaking of drag, the queens were out in full force at the LA auditions. I suppose we should expect nothing less from California though. Jerry was getting a little sentimental after seeing one drag queen after another get rejected. “These are my people,” he remarked, almost tearfully. Not to worry Jerry, the audience has got your back. Several times, the people broke out into the famous “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!” chant. And Jerry himself even got into the act. After a male belly dancer performed, Jerry appeared on stage sans shirt, posing and flexing for an adoring and approving crowd who moments earlier were repulsed and revilded by the handsome male dancer. Even Piers and Hasselhoff seemed to enjoy Jerry’s antics. Those two made sure to X the dancer during his performance to protect their straight male credibility.

As you can see the show has quickly become a sideshow act. The one saving grace of the night came in the form of the rock-a-billy band Johnny Come Lately. While not my favorite genre of music, these precocious 15 year-olds gave an uptempo, energetic performance of Elvis Presley’s “You Ain’t Nothing but a Hound Dog.” After the finished, I have expected the judges to deny them advancement. But I think they too were relieved that someone decent had chosen to grace their stage. Hey, they could’ve easily tried out for Simon Cowell’s other-other show “The Search for the Next Great American Band.”

Thank god they brought their talents to this show that has so far been seriously devoid of talent.

Definitely the standout among the reality shows this summer (and let’s face it, that doesn’t take much), Hell’s Kitchen was back with another installment of whiny wannabe chefs. After their disasterous first night at the restaurant, Gordon Ramsey wakes them up to take them fishing. Oh did I forget to mention by fishing, Ramsey meant catch fish with your bare hands while still in your pajamas? Of course Ramsey went for the easy joke comparing the size of a tuna to the size of Eddie. C’mon Ramsey, I expect high-brow English wit!

No sooner did the chefs “catch” their fish than did they have to prep them. Oh did I forget to mention that by prep, Ramsey meant peel the skin off and squeeze out the fish eggs? The red girls had to go up against the blue boys sans Aaron. Did I forget to mention that Aaron had another breakdown after catching fish and was sent back to bed by Ramsey? For being the oldest member, he sure does act like a baby. In the end it was the red girls team that was able to skin more fin. Their reward? Deep sea fishing. After the morning they had, I’m sure the last thing they wanted to see was more fish.

The girls continued to lead after the restaurant opened. Aaron continued to screw up, leaving bones in the fish fillets and add his own “special” ingredient: the sweat off his nose! He continued to act like a child when introducing himself to customers: “Hi I’m Aaron. Well of course I am! It’s on my shirt!” But Aaron wasn’t the only chef screwing up: Eddie couldn’t cook spaghetti, Josh couldn’t cook steak, and Benny just plain couldn’t cook. Not surprisingly, Ramsey shut down the boys’ kitchen and declared the girls the winner.
Surprisingly, Benny and Aaron avoided the chopping block. Instead Josh and Eddie went head-to-head (maybe spatula-to-spatula). Now Eddie I can understand: the kid’s got heart but he doesn’t have talent. Josh however does have some chops. Maybe a strategic move by Rock, putting Josh into the bottom two? All I have to say is watch out in the kitchen Rock. You never know when a stray fish might hit you in the back of the head.

I am honestly surprised I am still watching this show. But for some reason I was drawn back to the inanity of searching for celebrity look-alikes and sound-alikes. Something seemed to happen to me though, after I watched one bad impression after another. I began to question the purpose of this show. And we all know rule number one of reality tv viewing is never try to find a deeper meaning.

My question about the show after watching two episodes is “What is the point?” Certainly there are some decent celebrity impersonators, and yes the really bad ones are funny. Even the judges are funny to an extent. But once these tryouts are over, I feel like the show is going to crash and burn. Honestly, how long are we going to be able to watch an impersonator during the vote offs? Week after week, the same people will be up there on stage, vying for our votes. At what point will that become tiresome? And what happens when someone wins? They get a $100,000 prize (small by reality standards) and then what? I just can’t figure out why this show exists.

All this to say this show has been downgraded and makes me wish I had watched “So You Think You Can Dance” instead.

Well, Simon Cowell’s America Lacks Talent, er, America’s Got Talent is back for another season. Hey it was the number one show of summer 06, so why not? This season kicked off with an overly long two-hour premiere.

Things have changed a bit this year with Jerry Springer replacing Regis Philbin as host and Sharon Osborne taking Brandy’s empty judging chair. Jerry Springer seems like the logical choice to host this show, since he is used to dealing with oddballs on his daytime talk show. And the oddballs were not in short supply, from the Human Slinky to the Letterman Brothers (you’ll remember them as the men jiggling their pecs in time to Dueling Banjos) to the family of violin players. And the precocious little girls were out in force, no doubt prodded on by stage mothers and last year’s win of Bianca Ryan. Piers played the role of mean English judge by being honest–brutally so. When a nine year-old girl attempted a cheerleading routine, Piers laid in to her and her mother. Sharon was so upset she actually left the judging table, saying “I’m taking off my makeup and going home!” Only after much pleading (and surely her contract) could she brought back on stage.

The addition of Sharon Osborne as judge is a little more dubious since I’m not sure what her talent is. Then again, they let Hasselhoff back. I kid, I kid! Honestly though, the talent certainly seems to be lacking, as no one made that great of an impression. The dancing group the Jabbawokkes looked liked they’d just been kicked off of So You Think You Can Dance (another Cowell show) and the Elvis impersonator appeared to be on the wrong stage (”Sir, Next Best Thing is the door over”). The talent the judges did send on to the next round almost seemed to be an obligatory way to fill the slots for the vote-off shows. Could it be that America really does lack talent?

Things could turn around next week in Los Angeles, which will certainly draw out the freaks and rejects from other reality shows.

Download Webisode 015 from the Podcast link to the right, or subscribe via iTunes: just search for Bunny Ears. And remember you don’t need an iPod to listen to our show. Any mp3 will work. Or burn it to a CD. Or just listen to it right from your computer!

Show Notes

SUNDAY:
Desperate Housewives - episode 70, Getting Married Today: As Gabrielle prepares for her fairy tale wedding, Bree returns to Fairview with a surprise. Meanwhile, Lynette’s mother Stella (guest star Polly Bergen) pays her a visit after finding out Lynette has cancer. Finally, Susan and Mike tie the knot in an unexpected location. CLIP: McSleaze talking about his plans to take the governor’s seat.

MONDAY:
Heroes - episode 23, How to Stop and Exploding Man: Can Sylar be stopped? Will Linderman’s vision live on with Nathan? What will it take for Peter to save the world, what sacrifices will be made? With all the horrible predictions unfolding before them the heroes face moments of pain and peril in Kirby Plaza. CLIP: Molly talking about who she is afraid to see.

The Bachelor - episode 91, Week 10: The final two bachelorettes get the chance to meet Andy’s family. Andy makes the decision of a life time as he proposes to one lucky lady. CLIP: Bevin’s religion.

WEDNESDAY:
American Idol - episode 230, And the Winner is… CLIP: Ryan announces winner Jordin Sparks

America’s Next Top Model - episode 102, The Girl Who Becomes America’s Next Top Model: The three finalists are ultimately put to the test in their final photo shoot and commercial for CoverGirl. Things do not go so well when one model struggles to look youthful in her pictures and another struggles to say her lines naturally for the commercial. After the CoverGirl shooting is done, one model, Renee, is eliminated and the final two, Natasha and Jaslene, face off in the final runway challenge, after which the winner of cycle 8 is crowned: Jaslene.

THURSDAY:
Ugly Betty - episode 23, East Side Story: Betty and Henry’s romance heats up. Meanwhile, Wilhelmina makes great strides in her ambitious power play, as Daniel descends further in a downward spiral. The Suarez family trip to Mexico takes a dangerous turn, with old ghosts creating new problems. Explosive secrets will be revealed, and everything will be tied together by a beloved Broadway musical. CLIP: Christina uses Faye’s measurements to open her safe.

The Office - episode 53, The Job: In the one hour season finale, a job opening in Corporate has Michael, Jim, and Karen in New York competing against one another, leaving Dwight in charge of the Scranton branch. CLIPS: Schrute Bucks; Ryan gets job